Making friends was easy once. You sat next to someone at school, shared a kitchen at uni or started a job on the same day, and that was that. Then life got busier, people moved away, and somewhere along the line your social circle got smaller without you really noticing.

If that sounds familiar, you’re in good company. Plenty of people in Nottingham are in exactly the same position, whether they’ve just moved here, come out of a long relationship, started working from home or simply watched their old group drift into different lives. The good news is that Nottingham is a brilliant city for starting again. It’s big enough to have something on every night and small enough that you’ll keep bumping into the same friendly faces.

Why making friends gets harder as an adult

It isn’t you. Friendships tend to form when you see the same people regularly, in a relaxed setting, without having to arrange it. School, university and early jobs hand you that on a plate. Adult life doesn’t.

These days you have to create those situations on purpose, and that can feel awkward. Walking into a room of strangers takes a bit of nerve at any age. So the trick isn’t to become a different, more outgoing person. It’s to put yourself in places where conversation happens naturally and where you’ll see people more than once.

7 ways to make friends in Nottingham

1. Pick an activity, not a “networking” event

It’s far easier to talk to someone when you’re both doing something. A board games night gives you an instant icebreaker. So does a quiz, a wine tasting or a cookery class. You’re not standing around with a drink wondering what to say, because the activity does the heavy lifting.

Nottingham is well set up for it. The Malt Cross hosts relaxed games evenings under its Victorian music hall roof, and dedicated board game cafés like The Dice Cup have shelves of games and staff who’ll teach you the rules.

2. Go to the same thing more than once

One visit rarely makes a friend. The third or fourth visit often does. Whether it’s a weekly run, a monthly book club or a regular social, familiarity is what turns a nice chat into “shall we grab a coffee?”. If you enjoy reading, our guide to book clubs in Nottingham is a good place to start.

3. Use the city’s green spaces

Walking side by side takes the pressure off conversation. Group walks around Wollaton Park, Attenborough Nature Reserve or along the Trent at Lady Bay are a lovely way to meet people, especially if there’s a pub lunch waiting at the end.

If you’d rather move a bit faster, the free Saturday morning parkruns at the Forest Recreation Ground and Colwick Country Park are friendly, open to all paces and usually end with a coffee.

4. Say yes to small group dinners

Sharing a table at one of Nottingham’s independent restaurants in Hockley, the Lace Market or West Bridgford is one of the quickest ways to get to know people properly. A couple of hours over good food and you’ll know more about your neighbours at the table than you would after ten rushed hellos at a party.

Sharing plates work especially well for this. Tapas at Baresca, Japanese small plates at Nōshi or a Lebanese feast at Rawsha all get people passing dishes and talking within minutes.

5. Follow your interests

Love vinyl, craft beer, theatre or live music? Start there. Shared enthusiasm is the easiest foundation for friendship, and Nottingham has a scene for almost everything. You’ll already have something to talk about before you’ve even introduced yourself.

Think record browsing and in-store gigs at Rough Trade in Hockley, late-night jazz at Peggy’s Skylight, taprooms like Neon Raptor at Sneinton Market, or a show at Nottingham Playhouse or the Theatre Royal followed by a drink to talk it over.

6. Try a daytime meet-up

Not everyone wants a late night. Weekend coffee meet-ups and daytime food tours are relaxed, easy to leave when you need to, and ideal if evenings are tricky with work or family.

West Bridgford is particularly good for this, with independent coffee shops like ROK Coffee House on Melton Road and plenty of places to carry on into lunch if the conversation is flowing.

7. Join a social club that does the organising for you

The hardest part of meeting people is often the planning. A good social club takes that away. At Affinity Club, every event is hosted, so there’s always someone to welcome you, introduce you to others and make sure nobody is left on the edge of the room. Most members come along on their own the first time. If that’s the bit you’re nervous about, have a read of what to expect when you come alone to your first event.

New to Nottingham? Start here

Moving to a new city is one of the most common reasons people find themselves starting from scratch. If you’ve recently arrived for work, a relationship or a fresh start, a few things will help you settle in faster.

1. Get to know the neighbourhoods. Hockley and the Lace Market are the independent heart of the city centre. Sneinton Market is the creative quarter. West Bridgford, Beeston and Sherwood each have their own high street, cafés and community feel.
2. Book something in your first fortnight. It’s tempting to wait until you’ve unpacked and settled. Don’t. Having one social plan in the diary early stops weeks slipping by.
3. Choose events where coming alone is normal. Hosted socials and welcome events are designed for people who don’t know anyone yet, so you won’t be the only new face in the room.
4. Say where you’ve moved from. “I’ve only just moved here” is one of the best conversation starters there is. Nottingham people love recommending their favourite places.

You’ll find more ideas in our guide to meeting new people in Nottingham.

Turning a good chat into a real friendship

Meeting people is step one. Becoming friends takes a little follow-through.

• Be the one who suggests it. “A few of us are going to the next one, are you coming?” is all it takes. Most people are hoping someone else will ask.
• Keep it small and specific. A coffee on Saturday morning is easier to say yes to than “we should meet up sometime”.
• Give it time. Friendships build over several meetings, so don’t write off an evening because you didn’t leave with a new best friend.
• Be yourself. You’re looking for people who enjoy your company as you are, so there’s no need to put on a performance.

Frequently asked questions

Is it weird to go to social events on my own?

Not at all. At most social events in Nottingham, and certainly at ours, the majority of people arrive alone the first time. It’s actually easier to meet people that way, because you’re more likely to chat to someone new than stick with the person you came with.

Where can I meet people in Nottingham in my 30s, 40s or 50s?

Look for events built around an activity or shared interest: dinners, walks, games nights, wine tastings, theatre trips and book clubs. These attract a wide mix of ages and give you something to talk about straight away, without the late nights or loud bars.

How do I make friends if I work from home?

Build regular, in-person plans into your week to replace the casual contact you’d get in an office. A weekly class, a daytime coffee meet-up or a couple of evening events a month is enough to start seeing familiar faces.

How long does it take to make a real friend?

Longer than one evening, and that’s normal. Most friendships grow from seeing someone several times over a few months. Going back to the same group or type of event is the single most effective thing you can do.

I’m shy. Will I have to make small talk with strangers?

A little, but the right setting makes it far easier. Choose a hosted event with an activity, arrive a few minutes early while the group is still small, and let the host introduce you. After that the evening tends to take care of itself.

Your next friend could be one event away

Making friends as an adult isn’t about luck. It’s about showing up, more than once, in places where good people gather. Nottingham has plenty of those, and we’d love to welcome you to ours.

Take a look at our upcoming events and pick one that sounds like your kind of evening. Come on your own, and leave knowing a few more people than when you arrived.