Coming Alone to Your First Event: What to Expect (and Why You’ll Be Glad You Did)
“I’m looking to meet new friends, but I’m nervous about attending alone…”
If that thought sounds familiar, you’re not alone. In fact, it’s one of the most common messages we receive at Affinity. And it’s exactly why we exist.
Coming to your first social event on your own can feel like a big step. You might be wondering:
- Is it a mingling drinks thing?
- Will everyone already know each other?
- What if I feel awkward or out of place?
Let’s gently put those worries to rest.
First things first: feeling nervous is completely normal
We have run events in Nottingham for many years. Many new attendees tell us the same thing, they’ve wanted something like this for years, but the idea of walking into a room alone feels daunting.
Here’s the truth: a lot of people do come alone.
The thing is, we’re all there for the same reason you are – to meet new people, make genuine connections, and enjoy something a little more thoughtful and relaxed than loud, crowded, open-to-everyone events.
You’re already in the same boat as everyone else!
What actually happens when you arrive?
Our events aren’t rushed, chaotic or intimidating.
They tend to start gently:
- People arrive gradually
- There’s time to get a drink
- Conversations form naturally
- The atmosphere builds as the evening goes on
If it helps, you’re always welcome to arrive a few minutes early. It’s a great way to:
- Meet the hosts
- Settle in
- Feel comfortable before the room fills
Our hosts are there to welcome you, introduce you to others, and make sure no one feels left standing alone wondering what to do next.
You won’t be thrown into forced icebreakers or awkward games. Everything is designed to feel natural and easy.
“But what if everyone else knows each other?”
This is another big fear and almost always an unfounded one.
Club Affinity attracts people who:
- Are rebuilding or expanding their social circle
- Have moved area, changed routines, or reached a new stage of life
- Want something more sophisticated, friendly and considered
Yes, some people may have attended previous events, but that usually makes them more welcoming, not less. Many remember exactly how it felt to come the first time.
You’ll find people happy to chat, curious to meet you, and genuinely open to connection.
Who are these events for?
While everyone is welcome, our community naturally attracts:
- Adults in their mid-30s and upwards
- People who value conversation, atmosphere and quality experiences
- Those looking for friendship, connection and shared experiences
It’s relaxed, grown-up, and socially comfortable.
You don’t have to “be on show”
One of the biggest misconceptions about social events is that you have to perform and be confident, funny, or constantly “on”.
You don’t.
You can:
- Dip in and out of conversations
- Take your time
- Be exactly as you are
There’s no pressure to impress. Just space to connect.
Why coming alone often works better
Interestingly, many people tell us that coming alone is actually a positive.
When you’re not clinging to someone you already know:
- You’re more open to conversation
- Others feel more comfortable approaching you
- New connections happen more naturally
It’s often the start of something new, not just an evening out, but a growing sense of belonging.
Gentle Ways to Make Your First Event Feel Easier
Coming to your first social event can bring up nerves, even when you’re excited. The good news? There’s no “right” way to attend an Affinity event.
Here are a few simple, completely normal things many people do to help themselves feel more comfortable. You’re welcome to use any of them – or none at all!
Bring a friend
For your first event, you’re welcome to bring someone along. Some people prefer having a familiar face with them initially, then feel confident enough to attend solo next time once they understand the atmosphere. Just ensure your freind is also signed up to the event!
Arrive a little earlier
Arriving earlier often means a calmer space and time to settle in. It’s a great way to meet the hosts, have a relaxed chat, and feel comfortable before more people arrive.
Visit another venue first
Some people like to pop to a nearby café or bar beforehand to have a coffee, a drink, or simply a quiet moment to gather themselves. Think of it as a gentle warm-up, not a requirement.
Step outside if you need a breather
If at any point you want some fresh air or a moment to yourself, that’s absolutely fine. There’s no expectation to stay “on” all evening.
Give yourself permission to stay briefly
You don’t need to commit to the whole event in your head. Many people arrive planning to stay for 30–45 minutes and often stay longer once they relax. Knowing you can leave early often makes it easier to arrive.
Let the host know it’s your first time
A quiet word like “this is my first event” helps us support you. We can introduce you to others, check in discreetly, or help you find your feet without making it a big thing.
Take part at your own pace
You don’t need to talk to everyone or be involved in every conversation. Listening, observing, and easing in gently is still taking part.
Come again — it really does get easier
For many people, the biggest shift happens at their second event. Recognising faces, understanding the flow, and knowing what to expect makes everything feel more natural.
The most important thing to remember:
Everyone there has taken the same brave step – to show up. You’re not behind, and you’re not out of place. You’re exactly where you should be.
A final reassurance
If you’re feeling unsure, nervous, or hesitating, that’s okay. It doesn’t mean it’s not for you. It usually means you’re standing on the edge of something new.
And you won’t be doing it alone.
Our role is simple: to make sure you feel welcomed, included, and at ease from the moment you arrive.